Last week for ‘family day‘…
…we took the boys to Flamingo Land in North Yorkshire (I’ll be posting about that soon) to meet up with some friends of ours.
Normally it takes us a good few hours to get the boys ready and get all the crap that we carry about on a daily basis, organised and into the car. When it’s just us, this is fine, when we have arranged to meet other people, who always manage to be on time, not so much!
No matter how hard we try we are always late for everything…ever!
On this particular day, the kids were ready, the Hubster was ready, the bags were packed and almost in the car and Mummy was still running around in her pj’s…
To be fair I had just organised all of the above.
But it was ok, I had 20 minutes to get in the shower, wash my hair and get dressed. Do-able. Definitely do-able, especially if I didn’t dry my hair (which I never do) and did my makeup in the car (which I always seem to end up doing).
Plenty of time. Or there would have been if the Hubster hadn’t unceremoniously dumped the little one in the bathroom in his high chair whilst he put the rest of the stuff in the car.
Ok, that’s fine I can sing nursery rhymes and play peekaboo while I wash my hair that’s fine.
Then the big one appears with 6 million toys which all need ‘washing’…luckily he wants to wash them himself…it doesn’t really matter if his t-shirt gets wet we can change it.
I can quite easily sing nursery rhymes, play peekaboo and dodge flying toys while shampooing my mop that’s fine…
I’d love to say at this point that it was like something out of a shampoo advert…silky flowing locks etc etc…safe to say it was most definitely not!
There was definitely shampoo in my eyes. Trying to swear under my breath or at least not loud enough for little ears to pick up on enough to repeat, I closed my eyes and stuck my head under the water…
That seems to have done the trick, I now have water and quite possibly the remainders of the shampoo all over my face though so I turn around with eyes screwed shut – because shampoo and eyes (as we all know and I apparently had forgotten) don’t mix, and smack straight into something solid…and warm…and not at all expected…WHAT THE ACTUAL F????!!!!!!
How I didn’t scream the house down at this point I’ll never know…
Hyperventilating slightly I open one eye, just enough to be able to squint through, still with the shampoo, and am gob-smacked and I mean absolutely floored, to see the ‘Hubster’ standing there, in the shower, butt naked and grinning from ear to ear…OH…HELL…NO!!!!!
Not only had he gotten un-ready, he was clearly expecting more than the mouthful of abuse he got (I may have forgotten to muffle the ‘rude’ words at this point) and having thought about it since I’m not entirely sure what he was actually expecting seeing as BOTH of our children were in very close proximity and the ‘big one’ was asking why Daddy was in Mummy’s shower.
He was quite forcefully shoved out of the way and out of the shower and I followed (still with some shampoo) with about 3 minutes in which to get dried, dressed, find the big one a dry t-shirt and field any awkward questions about Daddy and his behaviour.
Needless to say, we were late…as always!