I JUST NEEDED TO PEE! When you just want to have a minutes rest

As parents most of us probably can’t really remember the last time we got 10 minutes to ourselves….and by that, I don’t mean a snatched cup of coffee while the kids brain each other senseless with assorted toys, I mean a proper 10 minutes of pure unadulterated silence…

Not that we begrudge them our time of course because let’s face it when it comes down to it they are our world. Sometimes however you need to sit back and take stock of the absolute jaw-dropping ridiculousness of some of the situations this whole parenting malarkey involves.

For example, I genuinely cannot remember the last time I got to go to the toilet in peace. This in itself is absurd because how is there anything entertaining about me sitting on the toilet, doing my business and then getting back off?! (Sorry for any unwanted images that may provide!)

What really got me the other day though was this…

I went to the toilet because you know nature called and I needed to pee…I’m pretty sure by this point I’d needed to go for about an hour but kept getting distracted by the big one insisting that the train track I’d spent forever building and re-building for him, to his very exacting standards, was now in fact, not actually big enough. Or the little one who has a new found passion for gnawing on the wall, I mean what the actual f?!


Anyway having finally made it the toilet for what I hoped was a quick pit stop, the big one followed me in still bemoaning, what he obviously viewed, as a seriously crappy attempt at a train track (a person can only build so many tracks in one day before wanting to burn the whole bloody thing!) followed shortly by the little one with a chunk of plaster from the wall in his hand…no I’m not joking and yes I am still trying to figure out exactly how he managed that one.


So the kids are watching me, that’s pretty much the norm…now dog no. 1 has joined us…seriously dog stop trying to lick my feet I’m trying to pee here.


Ok nearly done…except for that now dog no. 2 has appeared with a ball in mouth looking hopeful…

Never mind home stretch I’m done now…and then the cat jumps on my knee…actually on my knee while I’m still sitting on the toilet.


This was definitely now the height of ridiculous, a laugh or cry situation…

There was literally a zoo in my bathroom with me…all I wanted to do was pee!!!

If you thought this was funny, wait until you hear what happened to me in the shower the other day…coming soon in our next blog post!

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